Deputy Delirium

As many of you know, yesterday was Greg and my 18th anniversary.    I love being married to this man.   I just can’t even go into everything that I cherish or adore about him and what he brings out in me.  Sometimes I feel like when we’re on our own we’re fish out of water.  But when we are together, everything seems to make sense.  Not that things are easy, just *easier* when we do it together.

Yesterday Greg surprised me with breakfast in bed.  Well, I was in the shower so when I was dressed and finally ate, it was delicious.  Then he surprised me by taking me to north Seattle to a little hole-in-the-wall cake decorating store.  I’ve been looking for some flavors and other items that I haven’t been able to find and don’t really want to pay as much shipping as some websites are asking for.  I was like a kid in a candy store.  Well, a tiny candy store.  It didn’t have as much as I would have liked, but I can’t wait to use what I got!!!!

And, as I was looking at my booty (comments kept to yourselves please) I couldn’t help but remember that I had 3 cupcake boxes at home ready to be filled with 4 different flavors and then shipped off to some of my favorite people.  Hmm, I wonder who they will be? 

Thanks for the trip to the cupcake store Greg!  And the fabulous walk around the waterfront, the antique store, the most decadent dessert, the ski ball games, and the relaxing time in the sun at Alki.  So many memories over the last 18+ years.  I don’t think I would change anything.  Nope, I’d do it all over again.

My baby is growing up!  [sniff, sniff]  Welcome to my new dotcom.  I hope that this will make things easier as far as following and especially commenting!   No reason for me to not give it a whirl, huh?

Have you missed me? 😉

Recently I have had blog ideas in my head like you wouldn’t believe! However, I have been very sick for a while now and am experiencing some difficulties in getting all of those ideas on here. [insert BIG sad face here]. I am hoping that I have reached the worst part of what I’m dealing with and will be back to myself in a couple of days. Then watch out! It’s going to be a Blogapalooza!!!

This one is my all time favorite. Seriously, I love these guys.

I want to tell you a short story. I went to Lubbock High School back in the 80’s. Diversity was the norm. The school was full of character and spirit. I loved it there. I had many friends and felt like I could mingle with just about any social group there. Back then, as a teenager, I had a couple of very close friends and a lot of acquaintences. This story is about one of those acquaintances whom I have grown to love as a sister these 20 years later. I miss her, admire her, cry with her, and thrive on the ‘boosts’ she gives me. I feel important in the small things that I have to offer. So let me tell you about this amazing woman.

This is Michelle. I knew her as Michelle Burns in high school. A quiet girl that I didn’t take the chance to get to know very well. We hung out with the same people, but it was a large group of people. We talked and giggled, but we didn’t get to be heart to heart. Isn’t her family gorgeous? Isn’t *she* gorgeous? Michelle, and her husband Joel, have three children. This picture has only two of them in it. Yes, the Duyck (pronounced Duck) family is beautiful. And their hearts are as bright as their countenances. (picture has Presley, Michelle, Joel, and little Camden)

This is Joel and Michelle’s third child. Chloe. This picture is of Presley kissing her baby sister in the hospital. This was the only time Presley got to touch, or see, her sister.

This is where Chloe lived. She had a short life – just 4 days, but because of her parents, her memory and her purpose for coming to this earth remain in many people’s hearts. Chloe was born with a serious congenital heart defect (CHD). Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome. I’m not going to pretend I know what this is, but when Michelle and Joel found out about Chloe’s condition before she was born, they became experts on it. I’m also not going to pretend to understand the grief this family felt when their daughter passed away without truly being able to hold or cuddle her. I can’t imagine. If I were Michelle I would have sat down in a dark room in a fetal position and cried. I would have blamed others for not doing enough. I would be hurt and angry. Ultimately I would just fall apart and give up on having anymore kids for fear the nightmare would happen again. Thank goodness, for so many strangers out there, that Michelle didn’t act the way I would have. Or so many other mothers out there. Nope. Michelle grieved, went through the motions and then dusted off her boots and started *acting* on what she knew and her experience. She started the Chloe Duyck Memorial Fund. Michelle started spreading information but that wasn’t enough. Somehow she got the strength to start having events to raise awareness, and money, for research. Big events. Like at South Fork Ranch where the TV show “Dallas” was filmed. And with big names. Bands in TX that supported her. Recently Michelle has gone bigger. She has sealed a car in NASCAR. Yep, now that my friends, is big time from where I stand.

Here is the Chloe car. Hope4TinyHearts raced by Ken Wallace. It has pink and red butterflies and pink and red hearts all over it. It is girlie, and it is gorgeous as it races around the track at 100mph! Wallace has helped Michelle get the word out about CHD. I couldn’t be prouder of my friend. Oh, did I mention that through this process I have had the honor of getting very close to Michelle? I love her. I love who she is and what she represents. I love how she sees herself as a person who is doing what she can to help others deal with or prepare for what she went through with Chloe. She is a rock to me, through all of what she is doing she takes time to make me feel good about what I am struggling with in my own little world. Which is *nothing* compared to her experiences! We are going to live by each other someday and create a party planning business called “M&M Parites” or something cute like that. Anyway, I digress. As if this NASCAR having Chloe’s name on it and the fund and everything that it has on it isn’t enough. NO! Michelle has gone a step further. The car has been updated to this:

Here is #28 all gussied up in her finest. All those words on there? You may not be able to read it, but they are the names of other CHD kids. Chloe and all her CHD buddies will be flying around the race track in Bristol proud that there is someone who has not let their stories die. Proud that their parents, with the help of Michelle, didn’t crumple in a corner and fall apart, but are informing and trying to nudge science along so that other babies don’t have to go through what they went through.

If you would like to know more details about the Chloe Duyck Memorial Fund, or about CHDs and just how much more common they are than you would like, visit http://www.causes.com/causes/5487

I didn’t want this blog to be about the Fund or the defects per se, because I’m not as educated about it as Michelle is. The point of this blog was to introduce you to her. To try to inspire you with her story, in whatever way you need to be inspired. Michelle and I have a favorite saying: (well it’s a favorite now, among others we’ve loved) “So many people walk around like they are Clark Kent and they don’t realize that they’re really Superman” (thank you Justin Newton!)

I applaud you Michelle. You are my hero.

I am an organized person. I am a creative person. I am a person that relies on schedule and routine. Generally. For some reason this year I have become unorganized, more overwhelmed than usual, and extremely ADD. Not what you think, it’s the “Adult Dug Disorder”. You know, the dog in the movie “Up”, the one that has a special collar that allows him to speak and really wants Carl to know how much . . . .SQUIRREL! Yeah. That’s me. I start one thing and *poof* a squirrel catches my attention and away I go . . . . like right now when I am totally off topic from where I wanted to be.

Anywho, I have thrown some pretty cool parties. For multiple occassions. I have had a homemade pie contest where I actually made bronze, silver, and gold spatulas for the winners. I helped mastermind a red carpet event for my Girl Scouts and their Build-A-Bears complete with awards to the pets. (yes, I believe that my daughter’s pet won the most glitzy award) I even had this event catered with finger ham and chesse and peanut butter and jelly finger sandwiches and mini pies. There was a backdrop for pictures to be taken and sunglasses for all. I have done numerous birthday parties. From lady bugs to arks, and my personal favorite just 3 years ago; Atalie’s “Orange You Glad I’m Turning 7” party where *everything* was orange. I requested the guests to dress appropriately. Orange is Atalie’s favorite color and I was pressed for time. Don’t judge. My Halloween parties are the best, at least *I* think so. Our 4th of July get togethers are a blast (hardy har har) with food for more than an army, fireworks that could have sent a child to college had we saved the money, and gift bags complete with all of the garb a child could need to celebrate with style. Not to mention my kids’ Valentine’s Breakfast. Heart shaped pancakes served by Greg and a friend, crafts, swapping homemade valentine cards . . . oh yes, I love a good party. I love the planning, the creating of invitations, the decorations, the food, the guests, and the love I feel from friends and family when my efforts are noticed.

2010 has wiped me out. On December 29th, 2009 my teens had their friends over for a New Year’s Eve party, yes, early. We did a taco bar and I bought markers for them all to use to draw on our walls in the playroom upstairs. It’s an unfinished room so it was fine, and they did a nice job. They played Wii and other games and at somwhere close to midnight we had fireworks. Well, crackers. Close enough in my book. Everyone had a great time, one of Colleen’s friends even told me that I ‘rocked’ and gave me a high five. (she’s awesome) So why is it that I am now into the 3rd birthday party of the year and I am struggling to get energized for it? My teenagers have given up on me. I think I peetered out on them 2 years ago and have just had their friends over for some fun, with the exception of Colleen’s sweet 16, which we had a professional banner made for and hired a clown and face paniter etc. yeah, it was the bomb. But now I am about to celebrate the lives of my 10 & 12 year olds and the piddlefartty person in me is asking them, “why don’t we just do a pool party in the backyard and a campfire with hotdogs and smore’s?” Their birthdays are 7 and 17 days away from now respectively! I feel like a terrible mom. I used to be so good and now I’ve lost the juice. What happened to me? Blech. I’ll let you know how the parties go down. Pray for my 5 year old, his birthday is in November. Maybe I should start thinking about that one now.

If anyone finds my party Muse wandering around out there, could you redirect her to my house? My family would appreciate it muchly.

uh, are you still fixated on the word piddlefartty? just ask me , I’ll tell.

Many of you saw that I had a really hard time blogging about friendship yesterday. It got a bit messy and emotional, as will happen when thinking about one’s friends. Past, present, good and bad. (and yes, there are some not so good friends out there) Today I have conquered those emotions and have taken a different direction, still saying what I wanted to say. I think.

I remember in grade school, at dear old Parson’s Elementary, that I had a hard time with which came first. The ‘i’ or the ‘e’. I still have a hard time with that one and fall back on the “I before E except after C” rule when spelling something. It’s one of the very few ‘rules’ in English that somewhat makes sense to me. But that is another blog. A kind, yet oddly smelling, teacher leaned over my desk one day and asked me why I was so frustrated in my spelling lesson. I told her I couldn’t figure out the “i” and “e” thing in the word friend. She told me that the spelling is much like the person, a true friend is there till the ‘end’. “Friends to the end” she said. I’ve remembered that for these some 20 years. (okay, who am I kidding? these some 30 years)

Dictionary.com defines the word friend as: “A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.” and Webster’s Dictionary says a friend is: “the scarcest thing on earth. A rare visitor, but he can come around a few times in a lifetime.”

Do you agree?

In my opinion one of the most key components to a true friendship is the shoulder. As defined in the dictionary in it’s verb form, shoulder means: “to carry or place, to take on or assume.” So, a friend’s shoulder is there to cry on, to lean on, to bear another’s burden, to lift, and to support. Maybe even to push on every now and again in the fits of laughter or to point in the right direction. If you think about it for even a tiny bit more you can think of other uses for the shoulder in a friendship. If our shoulders were not strong how would we be able to carry all of those shopping bags we acquire while we are out with our freinds spending quality time together? And what area is extremely important in lifting the spoon from a banana split or piece of rich cheesecake than the shoulder? We can also tend each other’s children by holding a crying baby or pushing a toddler on their bike, freeing our friend some time to spend with their spouse or just to rejuvenate.

What do you consider ‘friend’ traits? Are *you* a good friend? Would you be friends with yourself?

I’ve learned that I have many acquaintances and few friends. But, after a long internal battle, I’m okay with that. The ones who have gotten to know me and love me anyway, who let me cry then tell me to get back in the game, the ones who can go to my cupboards and get themselves a drink, the ones who make me feel beautiful without make up, the ones who stick by me when they could easily turn their backs, the ones who are sarcastic with me and whom I don’t feel like I have to be something I’m not; those are rare, and I am ever so grateful to have them. Both near and far, ones that I have gone many places with, and those I have yet to meet. I am very lucky to have you.

Take care of those shoulders friends, you never know when they may be needed!